Icy Despondency
by chemical violets
Summary: When Gray's demons come out stronger than ever after the death of his father, he becomes nothing but an icy blankness. Not only that, but he disappears with only a note to his friends. Will Gray be found? And if he is can his team mates pull him out of his past's shadows, or will he be lost in his icy despondency? This story is complete.
1. Prologue

**A/N **Okay, to be honest, I deleted this story because I didn't know what to do with it. But then I was going through my phone notes because that's literally just a ton of ideas for books and fanfictions and found what I was planning to do... Crazy huh? So here it is, Icy Despondency, reposted!

**Summary: **When Gray's demons come out stronger than ever after the death of his father, he becomes nothing but an icy blankness. Can his team mates pull him out of his past's shadows, or will he be lost in his icy despondency?

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Depression and other dark themes. May be triggering.

**THIS IS SHORT BECAUSE IT'S A PROLOGUE. CHAPTERS WILL BE 1K+ WORDS MOST OF THE TIME**

**Icy Despondency **

**Prologue**

Gray sighed, watching the crystal-like snowflakes drift lazily to the ground. He leaned his head against the window, his warm breath frosting the cold glass.

The scene was like that of a movie: children having snowball fights while their parents watched their family play in the sow, teens holding hands and kissing while walking down the slippery road.

Then of course, here was Gray, watching the scene, but not really watching. It had been almost a week since he had gone to the guild, He wondered if they noticed his absence. He wondered if they even cared.

He was not left to wonder for long because he heard pounding at his door. "Gray, open up!" he heard the commanding voice of the terrifying Titania and his other teammates.

Normally he would never ignore Erza's commands, but all he had to do was keep quiet, and sit in his closet before Natsu sent Happy to fly in front of his window.

From the closet he heard Happy's voice say, "He's not there."

"Maybe he went to the store," Lucy suggested dejectedly. As the footsteps pounded away, the raven returned to his window, leaning his hands against the windowsill. He watched his teammates walk down the road, Erza looking angry, Natsu annoyed, Lucy and Happy worried.

All the black haired boy could think of was how he caused the pain they felt. The windowsill suddenly felt even colder and he yelped as he saw the frozen wall surrounding his window.

Stumbling back, he fell against his nightstand, that froze over as soon as his hand came in contact with the furniture. The raven's dark blue eyes that no one in Magnolia could ever obtain were filled with fear.

He didn't know what was happening. All he knew was he to leave. And as he threw on a black cloak he used once when he needed to be disguised on a mission, his only coherent thought was, _Have to get away_.

**A/N **That was short for three reasons

1= My head hurts (I need reading glasses (I only use them for reading))

2= It's almost 10 at night

3= I'm at my grandparents' house and may very well be keeping my sister up with all my typing

4= It's a prologue. Chapters will be longer.

Enjoy!

-MaydayParade02


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N **So here it is, I found my plan and I'm writing a new chapter!

**Summary: **When Gray's demons come out stronger than ever after the death of his father, he becomes nothing but an icy blankness. Can his team mates pull him out of his past's shadows, or will he be lost in his icy despondency?

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Depression and other dark themes. May be triggering.

**Pairings: **Probably GraLu, I haven't quite decided if I want romance in this story or just angst.

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 1**

_5 Years Later…_

Lucy ran a hand through her blonde hair as she walked over to Erza Scarlet, her teammate. "Is this month's patrol back?" she asked quickly, hoping for a good word on their missing friend.

"Yes." Erza responded.

Lucy smiled brightly her old perk and spark of hope she had at 17 returning as she slid herself onto the barstool next to Erza and Cana. "Did they find him?" she asked with hope evident in her voice. Lucy had never admitted it, but by now everyone in the guild had pretty much figured out she liked the mage in question, and even now, 5 years later at the age of 22, that hadn't changed. She still loved the boy who would now be turning 23 in merely a few days, on December 24th.

"No," Cana sighed, taking a swig of liquor even though it was only 9 AM. "But his rent has been paid."

Lucy sighed. As the date suddenly came to mind, she felt even worse. It was December 20th. Four days from the anniversary of his departure.

He left on his birthday. He left on December 24th. What a wonderful Christmas present, to charge into your friend's house on his birthday to give him his 19th birthday present (because you and his other teammates were the only ones besides Cana and Loke, his best friends, and Juvia to give him two presents: one for Christmas and his birthday.) to find most of his house frozen over, broken glass on the floor, and snow and no trace of your friend but a note.

**_Flashback_**

_"__The Ice Princess had better be there," Natsu grumbled as his friends trudged through the snow. A freak blizzard had hit Magnolia. It was as if someone just decided to drop a shit-load of snow and wind without warning. The weather people, who were typically pretty accurate in Magnolia, couldn't even predict this, or pinpoint the cause. But the snow gave of the strange presence of magical energy. _

_Erza sighed. "I sure hope so. I'm quite worried about him. The only time he ever comes into the guild is to take brief solo missions. He wasn't here earlier today but I can't think of anywhere else he would be," the scarlet replied, her hands shoved in the pockets of her purple jacket. _

_Lucy rubbed her mittened hands together. "This magic feels so familiar, but I can't imagine why the snow has magical energy in it." _

_Finally getting to the building, they rang the apartment complex's doorbell, waving at the landlord, who recognized the three teens and flying cat and let them in. "Hi," Lucy greeted cheerfully. "Is Gray at home? We wanna give him some birthday presents." The blonde shook melting snow out of her hair, which had left her clothes and hair a bit wet. _

_The landlord shrugged. "I'm not sure. He left in a rush this afternoon, left a trail of ice behind him, and I haven't seen him sense. He may have come back when I was on break, I'll buzz you in."_

_Natsu led the way to Gray's apartment door, pounding a fiery fist on the white wood. "Gray you better open up, so help me God, if I trudged through a blizzard for nothing, I swear." Natsu yelled, letting the empty threat hang. _

_Happy, who was sitting in Lucy's arms said sadly, "I guess he isn't there." The team started to move away when Erza held out a hand to stop them._

_"__No he's there. His building is heated and this room is drastically colder. His house is only cold when he's there. And I sense his magical energy." _

_The doorknob was frozen solid. Natsu melted the ice, preparing to have to kick the locked door open, but then found it was open. Lucy looked at her teammates in fear. If Gray wasn't home, something was seriously wrong because he _always_ locked his door. _

_None of them were prepared for the sight that met them. Snowflakes drifted lazily from the ceiling, piling onto the ground, yet no windows were open. They trudged through the snow. "Great, we escape the blizzard to find another," Natsu mumbled. _

_Lucy and Erza were far more concerned. Walls were covered in this layers of frost, as were a lot of Gray's things, but only in certain places, as though it was just where the hand touched._

_Erza found her way through the white mess to the kitchen, where the only snow was that that had fallen from the piles of the other room. She gasped, the scarlet suddenly feeling very sick. "Lucy, Natsu!" she called, fear and concern in her voice. _

_Even Natsu had to inhale a sharp breath at the kitchen. Broken glass littered the floor, frost covered the entire room, and even some blood was speckled on the tiled floor. _

_Lucy tried her hardest not to puke. "Gray," she whispered, before being interrupted by Happy's voice. _

_"__I found this in his room," the blue cat's voice was soft and scared instead of excited and high. _

_Natsu took the paper, and his tan skin immediately blanched. "Natsu, what is it?" Erza asked._

_Natsu just shook his head, leaning on Gray's plain table for support. "He's gone." _

_When Natsu first said that, Lucy had been concerned. Had he been kidnapped? He clearly put up a fight. But then Erza read it out loud. It was short. But it was terrible and terrifying. _

**_Dear Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Happy (because I know you guys will break into my house), &amp; the rest of Fairy Tail,_**

**_I left. I can't say when I'll be back, if ever. So for now, I'm leaving the guild. I hope I can find it in my heart to move on, because I know it'll be easy for all of you. Who would miss the ice freak with the out of control power? (Sorry about the blizzard I'm sure to cause. I can't exactly help it)_**

**_Yours Truly,_**

**_Gray Fullbuster_**

_And Natsu finally found his voice to say the question on everyone's mind. "This means, Gray did this?"_

**A/N **I hope you enjoyed the first Chapter! I have to get off so my mom can get on.

Enjoy!

-MaydayParade02


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N **So here it is, I found my plan and I'm writing a new chapter!

**Review Responses:**

**Yungsun: **Thanks! I hope to make it even better so you have no reason to review, "It wasn't bad before but now it is." (I would hope you wouldn't do that)

**ScarletClaw: **I know right! A life without Gray isn't a life worth living! Thanks! I mean, everyone was thinking it but Natsu is the only one who would actually say that out loud.

**CelestialIceFriendship: **WE ALL DO MEH FRIEND! **huggles in an embrace of tears** DON'T WORRY HE SHALL BE BACK SOON ENOUGH! Thanks! And you don't have to wait any longer!

**Summary: **When Gray's demons come out stronger than ever after the death of his father, he becomes nothing but an icy blankness. Can his team mates pull him out of his past's shadows, or will he be lost in his icy despondency?

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Depression and other dark themes. May be triggering.

**Pairings: **Probably GraLu, I haven't quite decided if I want romance in this story or just angst.

**_Just to clear something up, when Cana said his rent had been paid, she didn't mean Gray paid it, she meant cleaning out his apartment for him and giving it up would be like accepting he wasn't coming back, and they refused to do that._**

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 2**

Lucy walked to Gray's apartment the next day, her blonde bangs brushing her porcelain skin. She waited for the landlord to let her in and then walked over to his desk as he handed her a key to Gray's house with a sympathetic smile on his face. "If I didn't know how sweet Gray was, I would just tell you to pack his stuff up," he began cautiously. "But Gray is so wonderful and I started to think of him as a bit of a son. I can't imagine not ever having our little chats again."

Lucy looked confused, cocking her head before asking, "What chats?"

The landlord chuckled at the memories of his story he was about to tell before continuing. "Well, I like to believe Gray thought of me of a bit of a father figure every Sunday Gray would go to church then come back with food from the pub, go upstairs to change, and then he'd come sit with me while we talked. He always brought me brunch. The first time it was just because he was bored, but then we both grew rather fond of the time together."

"That's why he always came in late," Lucy mused, her brown eyes twinkling with happiness, imagining Gray hanging out with his landlord and chatting. For some reason, she found that idea completely plausible. "What kind of things did you talk about if you don't mind my asking?" The slender blonde leaned against the desk, propping her hand up in her hands.

"Well, he'd tell me about his missions, a creepy girl named Juvia, his parents, Ur, Lyon, his magic. Oh and you."

"Me?" Lucy asked, wondering why her raven haired friend would talk about her.

"Yea, he talked about you so much. He really cared for you. I bet he still does. You didn't know?"

Lucy was frozen for a minute before shaking her head. "Well, I'm going to go up to his apartment, clean up a bit for him." The blonde was blushing profusely as she walked shakily towards the elevator.

When she walked into Gray's house she sighed, remembering how it was the day Gray went missing 5 years and 3 days ago. Natsu had melted down the snow and frost, and the rest of them cleaned the broken shards of glass and cleaned the blood off the ground, after showing the mess to the Master of course.

She couldn't help but feel like she was violating his privacy as she dug through his closet and linen closet for anything that be a clue to Gray's location.

In one closet, which she had assumed had towels in it, had a keyboard in it, and a photo of a blue guitar that was suspiciously charred. She flipped the photo over and read Gray's familiar, neat handwriting.

**_Just in case anything ever happens to this guitar, which I salvaged from the wreck of my home, I vow to always keep this photo safe as a memory of my father_**

Lucy found tears welling in her eyes at how sentimental Gray was. She wished he hadn't hidden his true self when he was here. The person who bought lunch for landlords and talked about his friends and family, and saved old photographs and charred guitars simply because they held meaning. She now realized that Gray would save his parents' toothbrushes simply to remember them by.

Tucked away in a dark corner of the closet was a box, which Lucy found surprisingly heavy. Opening the box she saw an array of VCR tapes with a bunch of different song titles after he wrote _Me singing_. All of them labeled _Written by: Me_. Gray was full of surprises, and Lucy shouldn't have been surprised but she was.

There was one DVD at the bottom, and Lucy picked it up, opening its container.

_To Lucy-Happy Birthday _then a few lines down it said _Old Shoes_. Lucy took the DVD cautiously out of the box and slid walked to Gray's living room, sliding it into the VCR player. She had been to his home enough times to know how Gray's TV worked.

She was greeted first with typed words:

_To Lucy_

_This is meant to be a birthday present, but knowing me I'll chicken out and buy you a card. Maybe one day I'll work up the courage to show it to you. (which, if you're seeing this I assume I did) _

Then the song started, and there was Gray, sitting on his couch, with the blue guitar in the photo.

**_(sorry if this is awkward, I just liked the idea. PS, the song is Old Shoes by Adam Barnes) _**

_Its a tale of old shoes  
And soles of your feet  
I've got blisters from running  
On beaches and streets_

I've been knocked down and out  
I've got eyes black and blue  
I'm hit in the face when I'm talking to you

Oh, don't lie down  
As soon as I sleep, you'll be leaving this town  
Oh, don't lie down  
'Cause I'm lost  
And I'm young  
Got my mind in the clouds  
And if I fall asleep  
You'll be leaving this town

It's a tale of tied hands  
And holiday scenes  
I've got romance in places that I've never been  
But I've said a hundred times  
That I'm all that you need  
But you swear you're just stubborn and I'm just naïve

Oh, don't lie down  
As soon as I sleep you'll be leaving this town  
And oh, don't lie down  
'Cause I'm lost  
And I'm young  
Got my mind in the clouds  
And if I fall asleep  
You'll be leaving this town

Its a tale of old shoes  
And soles of your feet  
I've got blisters from running  
On beaches and streets

In the absence of sound  
Will you sing back to me?  
Or just whisper the thoughts, and tell me to dream?

Just don't lie down  
As soon as I sleep you'll be leaving this town  
And oh, don't lie down  
'Cause I'm lost  
And I'm young  
Got my mind in the clouds  
And if I fall asleep  
You'll be leaving this town

Then Gray strummed for a few seconds before smiling at the camera brightly, brighter than she'd ever seen him smile. "I wrote that just for you. I really like and care for you. I have since the day you came to the guild. Happy birthday!" he said cheerfully, before doing a half-wave at the camera and the video cut out.

Wet tears slipped down Lucy's cheeks, falling on her hands. She hadn't noticed she was crying until they began slapping her legs and arms. She couldn't help but feel the irony that Gray wrote she'd be leaving, when he was the one who left.

When she took the DVD from his VCR player and returned it to its box, she noticed the date he had written it. _June 30, 2010*****_. He wrote this two days before her birthday, the year he met her, the year before he left.

She had come to the guild during March that year. He had feelings for her all that time. It wasn't long, just under two years, but to Lucy it made her so happy.

As she looked at the case of the DVD longer, she pocketed it, deciding to keep this one for herself. Nothing noted where he may be.

Finally, she found a cardboard box with her name on it. It was just a bunch of watercolor paintings of flowers. They were bent in corners, fading in color, and the dates on the back stretched over the 10 months he knew her before leaving. But there was one on the bottom. The paint wasn't fading, the painting had no dust on it like the others, and was perfectly crisp and flat. With a shaking hand, the blonde turned the painting over and read the words on the back.

_December 19, 2015_

_I am still painting flowers for you_

**A/N **Maybe 3 reviews to update? (No pressure, I'll probably update anyway)

I hope you liked it. I have to go because its 1 AM and a few mins. ago it sounded like my dad was walking towards my room, like he had found out I had the computer way later than I should on a Thursday night and I was sitting there, terrified for like, 5 minutes.

Enjoy!

**-MaydayParade02**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N ****Okay, I am NOT done with this yet, but almost. I have one more chapter to write then an epilogue (which I am working on now) so I have decided to post it one chapter at a time again. ****J****Thanks for reading! The story will be posted periodically just so I can keep you little kids waiting c;**

**Summary: **When Gray's demons come out stronger than ever after the death of his father, he becomes nothing but an icy blankness. Can his team mates pull him out of his past's shadows, or will he be lost in his icy despondency?

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Depression and other dark themes. May be triggering.

**Pairings: **GraLu

**_OKAY KIDS, I FORGOT TO ADD IN THE SEVEN YEARS THEY WERE ON THE ISLAND SO WE'RE JUST GONNA PRETEND THAT THE TRIALS WERE CANCELLED THAT YEAR? OKAY?! AND THE WHOLE FACE THING HAPPENED WHEN THEY WOULD'VE BEEN HAPPENING_**

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 3 (DON'T OWN FT)**

Lucy cried out as she was struck with a powerful blow from Team Natsu's attacker. They had taken another mission in Hargeon. It should've been simple, all they had to do was take down a robber, but he was extremely powerful. They were all on their last leg, and there was nothing they could do to stop the attacker. He seemed immune to Natsu's flames, even stronger than Erza's armor, and more powerful than Lucy's celestial spirits.

It seemed it was hopeless. No. It _was_ hopeless. Why was a simple robber so powerful?

It seemed to happen instantly. Lucy couldn't summon any more spirits, Natsu was out of flames, Erza out of power, Happy already long unconscious on the ground.

Then a powerful blue light shot down the thief, who looked around, stunned, before pulling himself to his feet. "I don't know what that was, but I'm finishing you guys off."

"No you're not!" a commanding and cold voice called out from the bushes. It was so icy and hard, it made Lucy shiver. The voice was _dead_. A wizard with a tattered cloak emerged from the bushes. The cloak shadowed his face so much it was impossible to see any facial features.

The voice sounded familiar, and the person gave off a familiar aura, but Lucy knew she didn't know him. There was no one who sounded so cold. Not even Gray had.

The thief shot his powerful wind magic to the wizard, who easily deflected the shot by… Freezing it?! That got Lucy's attention. He used ice magic. It reminded Lucy of Gray.

"What does it matter to you, freak?" the enemy spat. "You wish the fairies or something?"

Hesitating, the cloaked figure paused before replying, his voice clearly darkened, as though he had a subject he didn't want to talk about. "No, but I don't take kindly to people attacking others."

The thief summoned all his magic, but it barely shoved the cloaked wizard back. The cloaked wizard turned slightly, the stance so familiar, but he didn't pound his fist into his palm.

The wizard the whispered, "Ice Devil's…. RAGE!" When he yelled _rage_, he spread his hands apart, and giant icy tendrils along with blinding blue light exploded from him, knocking the enemy to the ground. Then, a giant portal like thing opened, shooting out across the forest with a loud explosion, and when the light faded, the wizard was squatted down, the already snow-covered forest frozen over.

When the wizard stood up, the man turned and speed-walked away from the group, not even giving them the chance to thank him. Natsu shot up from the ground and pulled the others up with him. The pinkette was frantically trying to pull them along.

"Natsu!" Erza finally snapped. "What are you doing?" Lucy shivered at the harsh tone of Erza's voice.

The sakura-haired boy sighed exasperatedly. "That was _Gray_!" And immediately it was like a bullet was fired through the air. They raced through the frosty forest, Lucy holding her heeled boots in hand, despite the cold stinging her icy feet, just in order to run faster.

They all struggled to keep up with Natsu, who assured them they were almost there. Erza called out to him, "Natsu, how do you even know it's Gray?!"

Natsu didn't slow, but called over his shoulder. "He's the only person I know who smells naturally of peppermint and pine trees!"

He finally skidded to a stop and allowed the other to catch up with him, raising a finger to signal for them to be quiet. They looked through the trees with him and found Gray sitting in front of a frozen lake, staring down at the crystalline ice. It was now undoubtedly clear it was Gray.

They walked forward, snow masking their footsteps. "Gray?" Happy asked timidly, and the raven shot around, and Lucy found herself gazing into the complex cerulean eyes she hadn't seen in years.


	5. Chapter 4

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 4 (DON'T OWN FT)**

Gray Fullbuster.

His raven hair was wild as ever, dark and threatening as always. His beautiful sapphire eyes were exactly the same, but something about them was off. The way they looked dead, instead of making you stop in wonder of how his eyes were such a mix of rare, beautiful colors, instead made you shrink back in fear. They even sent a chill up Natsu and Erza's spines.

His skin was even more pale and ghost-like, he was a bit taller, less muscular, and more lean and lanky. His devil slayer tattoo had grown, leaving markings on the alabaster skin of his face. But he was still Gray. The Gray Fullbuster that disappeared exactly four years and 364 days ago (because Team Natsu went on a mission to try and stop remembering and stop the pain of another year with him gone).

The Gray Fullbuster who hid his feelings even though they were so beautiful. They allowed him to paint beautiful flowers, write beautiful songs. (Lucy had showed Team Natsu a few of them-aside from Old Shoes and others she didn't think he'd want them to see.)

"Gray," Lucy whispered. Her brown eyes fluttered anxiously to the raven's cobalt ones. No one dared to even draw a breath in, only moving the muscles in their eyes to look at each other and wonder who would make the first move.

It was Gray, but not the move they all hoped for. The black haired boy stood and turned, his black boots scraping the frost frozen on to the ground with a resounding crunch that echoed through the silent air.

"Grayson Lee Fullbuster get back here this instant!" Erza chided, yelling after him. Lucy had never heard his middle name before, but despite the situation she couldn't help but notice it went nicely with the rest of his name. The team sprang into action, running after him.

The pinkette on the team-of course-reached the Devil Slayer first and he yanked on Gray's sleeve so hard, the tattered cloak tore in half and fluttered softly to the ground, billowing up when it hit the frozen grass.

Gray stopped, not turning but not attempting to move. He was in a black long-sleeved T-shirt, black pants and black boots.

"Let go," Gray commanded in a low, stone-cold tone.

"Gray you can't honestly be leaving again, right?" Lucy finally said in a cracked whisper, no one realizing they were holding their breath until they let it out. Gray turned slowly, his black hair shadowing his blue eyes, his alabaster skin even whiter due to the death grip of the salamander.

"How can I leave," Gray began darkly. "When I never came back?"

**A/N There's chapter 4 :) Maybe 5 reviews to update?**


	6. Chapter 5

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 5 (DON'T OWN FT)**

Team Natsu exchanged a look, before Natsu tackled him to the ground and pinned him down. Gray yelped and shouted, "What the hell!?"

The pink-haired boy held onto Gray's wrists, his feet digging into the boy's boot-covered shins. "Gray we're not letting you get away!" he yelled. Gray finally stopped struggling, glaring at Natsu with his cold, dead sapphire eyes.

Erza looked sad at the exchange, looking at her feet, half concealed by the powdery snow they were sunk into. "At least take us to where you're staying. We're not going to force you to rejoin us, just tell us why you left."

Lucy had never heard the red-head sound so defeated, and it scared her. Gray looked to each member of the team before nodding slowly. Natsu cautiously removed himself from the raven and kept a close eye on him as he stood and led them through the cold forest to a small clearing where he had set up camp.

They all sat around the pile of sticks he had, waiting for Natsu to light it. With the crackling fire to keep them warm, they listened as Gray cautiously retold the story of why he left, before sadly staring at the dying orange flames.

By the time he finished telling them what'd he'd been doing for so long (working as a freelance wizard), night had fallen on the forest, the faint flickering fire casting eerie shadows on the porcelain skin, his devil slayer tattoo now no longer tainting his skin.

"If you learned to control your powers, why didn't you come back?" Lucy asked miserably.

Gray sighed, running a hand through his thick, dark hair. His eyes were not quite as dead, but now filled with sadness. Lucy wasn't sure which she hated more, seeing his eyes sad, or seeing them dead. "You probably want to head back to where you're staying," Gray whispered. "Take him back." He motioned to the bandit they had tied to a tree in the corner of the clearing, avoiding the question.

Erza shook her head. "No. We're staying with you tonight. We will not force you to return, but we're not leaving that easily."

Gray shook his head miserably. "I don't have enough space in my tent for more than two people."

Erza stood up, requipping into an outfit that she somehow managed to keep camping gear in too. "Great. I have space for three people in mine. Natsu, the bandit and I will stay in mine, you and Lucy in yours."

Both the blonde and the raven blushed, sputtering in shock. "No buts," Erza commanded, tossing snow on the flames to smother them before climbing in the tent Natsu had quickly assembled. "Goodnight." With that, the red-head zipped the tent shut, leaving Lucy and Gray alone in the darkness of the night. The felt their way to the tent, before crawling in, Gray lighting a lantern sitting in the corner.

Lucy unrolled the sleeping bag Erza had left for her, and then told Gray to turn as they changed. Finally, they climbed into their sleeping bags, and Lucy smiled, finally being able to say what she hadn't been able to say in years, "Goodnight, Gray."

She didn't see the small smile that graced his young face, but as the light of the lantern Gray was in the process of flicking of faded away, she heard his voice, quiet and calm, "Goodnight, Lucy."

**A/N **I got my 5 reviews, so you get an update! Sorry this chapter is short, the next one is almost 1k and then the one after that is over 1k so there you go :3 I am almost done writing the story. This one only has about 10 or 11 chapters total and an epilogue, but **Where the Stars Don't Shine** and **Gray and Lucy's Everlasting Melody **are going to be a lot longer. I am also planning another Graylu story and possibly a Gratsu story so stay tuned for that!

**How about 5 more reviews for an update? I'm not saying 10, I'm saying 5, just in case you were confused :). **

**Enjoy!**

**-MaydayParade02**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N **I didn't expect to update so soon but I got my five reviews, or at least four but I had like 9 others from the other chapters, so you're welcome ;)

This one is only about 700 words but the other is over 1k, It's pretty much the same length as this chapter including the review responses. Ya know, how you read the word count and got excited because it was over 1,400 words only to find out that was mainly me responding to the reviews I forgot to last chapter? I already checked. Sorry these chapters are shorter than my chapters normally are. With this story I feel like I need to cut it off at the right time or it's just dragging on. I'll add more descriptions in, because my descriptive, visionary language is what gives me a lot of word length in. Hahah,

Last night I watched a Silent Hill PT gameplay and it's still a bit creepy to me.

**Review Responses:**

**EllenTheWriter: **Thank you! And don't worry, it didn't come across the wrong way. The only review I ever took personal offence to was when the guy said, "This was the worst thing ever. Annabeth would never do that. And I thought this story had potential!"

**Alabana (Guest): **Thank you! I'm planning to update quite frequently, but unfortunately, I have been slacking on writing the last few chapters. I have about three or four more written up but whenever I get the chance I'll write the last few and the epilogue. And thanks, I am awesome. Tell me something I don't know, jeez ;)

**IcePrinceRay: **Natsu's nose is amazing yes, so is his scent records. He can practically remember any smell.

**ThePrinceOfLight: **Yup, full names mean trouble. But Erza was also just a little desperate to get him not to leave. Of course it was a bit scary, it had to be. Gray froze his feelings. Luckily for us though, his teammates are able to thaw his inner ice, especially a certain Celestial mage, if you catch my tide ;)

**ViperHat: **Gray can be pretty threatening when we wants to. He's caused Natsu to recoil before (Galuna Island arc) and he's at least gotten Erza to be very shocked and recoil in her decision (Also the Galuna Island arc). I answered this in a PM, but don't worry, there is a ship in it, but it's not Gruvia. I can't stand Gruvia.

**Lilymoon9: **Thank you! I'm glad you like the story and I'm also glad you like the Gray angst. We all do sometimes. Some more than others (AKA, me. I almost only read angst fanfiction. Sometimes I'll even read **shudders** Gruvia fanfiction just because it's angst or Gray has some issue going on) but we all like a good angsty story every once in a while. And thank you again :). My most popular story had weird, deep, second person POV letters in it but I took it down because I'm trying to make it into a book. If you ever see To Anyone Willing to Listen by a girl with the first name Faith on the shelves, then think of me. And thanks, because positive reviews inspire me to write more J

**Zombooka: **Thank you. Maybe I subconsciously drove inspiration from Frozen? I think it was mostly a Gratsu fanfiction I read where Natsu was hurt because of Gray so he freaked out, stopped taking care of himself, almost killed himself, got sent to the hospital because Erza, Lucy, and Mira tricked him into thinking Natsu was out of a coma and when he woke up he found out Natsu wasn't so he froze the whole room, but I had watched Frozen with my family a few weeks before I got the idea so…. I dunno. But thanks! 

**WelcomeToTheAnimeParade: **YOU'RE WELCOME! YOU'VE BEEN WAITING SO DAMN LONG AND THE DAMN WAIT IS F*****G OVER! Sorry, carried away.

**ThePrinceOfLight (again): **Erza won't force him, but again, Lucy has a strong influence over Gray. **wink wink**

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 6**

Lucy awoke a few hours later and lifted her wrist to find her watch's digital numbers glowing back at her: **2:13 AM**. Lucy turned on her side, and found Gray laying on his back, his breaths not soft enough to be asleep.

"Gray?" she whispered delicately. "You awake?" She heard the startled rustling of him, saw his silhouetted figure turn onto his side.

"Yea." The blonde smiled to herself, excited at the prospect of being able to talk to him alone. She shivered softly in the winter air. Despite the warmth of the tent and her sleeping bag, the chill of the winter air still managed to chill her to the bone. She sat up, picking up her sweatshirt and pulling it over her head.

She could make out the outline of Gray's dark blue sweatshirt because of the silvery moonlight that seeped through a part of the tent where he forgot to zip it. The silver light reflected off of his raven hair, his azure eyes glowing a silvery color in the bath of light. She laid back in her sleeping bag, curling up underneath it.

"You're a really good painter," she commented softly, her brown eyes lost in the complex blue of his. He squinted, clearly confused.

"Huh?"

"I found the paintings," she admitted. "Of the flowers. And ya know, you have paper and paintbrushes in the corner of the tent so I assumed you still kept up with it."

He looked down (or to the side, since he was laying down) at the ground. "All of them?"

She nodded, not even sure if he could see it, if the moon only washed over him and not her. "The songs too." His breath caught in his throat as he stuttered a reply.

"A-all of them?"

She nodded again, this time speaking her affirmation as well. "Oh," was his only response. He rolled onto his back, eyes trained on the roof of the ceiling. Neither of them brought up the idea.

"So, you've been alone all these years?" she asked gently.

"Yea." The golden-haired girl shuddered at the thought of being completely alone for 5 years. At least when she was a child she had the maids to keep her company

"What's it like being a freelance wizard?"

Gray thought for a minute, his eyes never leaving the spot they were glued to. "It's not as profitable as being a wizard in a guild, but it's enough. I missed the guild. I missed you all. The only human contact I got was when I went for jobs and would go into town and talk with the people at the market."

Lucy nodded thoughtfully, her eyes tired and peaceful. "Why don't you want to come back to the guild?"

Gray sighed, knowing it was too good to be true that she wouldn't ask him about it again. But this was Lucy, he could trust her. "I'm scared," he admitted quietly, and she sat up.

"Why? You've known your guildmates since you were eight years old."

"I let you guys down. I couldn't face you again."

Lucy laid a hand on his arm, looking at him sadly. "We haven't stopped looking for you since you left. Besides, you have to come back. You have to see Lyon again, you have to read my book. I promised you that you could read it after Levy-chan."

He smiled softly. "I could always buy it in a bookstore."

The blonde shook her head softly. "No you can't. I finished it a year after you left, and I never published it. I was waiting for you. It wouldn't feel right having strangers read it before you did." Gray shook his head softly, rolling onto his stomach, his head turned away from her, staying silent until she finally looked away.

Lucy sighed, returning to her sleeping bag and laying down. "Happy birthday," she whispered, before drifting into an empty sleep. After she had faded from consciousness, Gray finally smiled softly, sadly, a smile filled with melancholy.

"Thank you, Lucy."

**_MaydayParade02_**

Lucy awoke at 7:30 the next morning and found Gray sitting up, hunched over and staring at his sleeping bag. "Good morning," she said, yawning as she sat up.

Gray jumped before smiling gently at her. "'Morning."

Lucy heard Erza rustling around by the fire and she turned back to Gray. "Are you rejoining?"

Gray thought for a minute, clearly scared and conflicted. Lucy reached out to him, hugging him tightly as she rubbed circles on his back. "It's okay to be scared. We all get scared."

Gray sighed a shuddering breath, shaking in her grasp. "I'll come with you, but I can't guarantee rejoining. It'll depend on how they react to seeing me."

Lucy pulled away and smiled at him, her bright, hopeful smile finally returning to her face. "Thank you."


	8. Chapter 7

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 7 (DON'T OWN FT)**

Lucy smiled at Gray reassuringly as they sat on the train, Natsu already gagging, despite the fact it hadn't began moving yet. The dark circles under Gray's eyes indicated that he barely got any sleep last night. Lucy remembered how Gray used to have really bad nightmares almost daily about his family and the Deliora attack.

Erza noticed the shadows haunting his eyes too, and commented on it, saying, "How late did you two stay up last night?" The redhead knocked Natsu out as the train began to move and then laid his head in her lap.

"We woke up around 2 AM and then didn't fall back asleep until almost 3," Lucy admitted. Erza shook her head, smiling gently at the two.

"Happy birthday, by the way, Gray," Erza commented, seeing as it was now December 24th. "And happy Christmas Eve."

Gray smiled gradually, gently. "Thank you." He then stifled a yawn, his blue eyes half-closed as he was clearly tired.

Lucy motioned to how Natsu was laying on Erza's lap. "You wanna do that?" she asked. Gray's sapphire eyes followed her brown gaze and he shook his head diffidently, not wanting to be a burden. Lucy could tell that while his icy shell was being melted away, he was still struggling a depression and anxiety that Lucy could sense was there soon after she met him, which likely is what kept him up all night.

Lucy rolled her eyes, pulling him onto her lap. "It's okay, you're not going to bother me by sleeping." Gray smiled sadly, his cerulean eyes still holding a deep gloom, but he didn't argue further, and soon slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Erza smiled at the sight of her friend sadly, the 24-year-old woman's brown eyes holding a secure cordiality. "He still seems so miserable," she observed.

Lucy nodded, finding herself running her hands through his dark raven locks with one hand, another across his chest to keep him from rolling off the seat. After an easy stillness, she smiled luminously, getting Erza's attention and saying, "His hair is so soft."

Erza's eyebrows furrowed, a smile gracing her pretty face. "I always imagined it'd be spiky and hard." Lucy chuckled in agreement.

"Me too, but it's the exact opposite." She leaned against the window of the train, the chilled, frosty glass washing over her like a winter breeze. Lucy smiled down at the 23-year-old boy laying with his head in her lap. His face, normally sad, hard, and plagued by memories, had smoothed out, now soft and gentle, giving him a youthful peacefulness.

The drawstring of his sweatshirt tickled her knee as it fell off of her skin, dangling in the air towards the ground. Lucy watched it as it remained suspended in midair before returning her gaze to Gray, and stroking the soft black locks again as they brushed the fabric of the jeans covering her legs.

Her blonde hair still swiped at the cool glass of the train window, and her eyes finally made their way shut as she drifted into a light sleep.

**_MaydayParade02_**

Lucy woke up to the lurching of the train as it skidded to a stop. Gray blinked deeply, pulling himself off of her legs and frowning as he saw his environment, before the wrinkles of his clenched forehead smoothed out as he remembered where he was.

Now he just looked plain scared. Lucy smiled at him reassuringly. As soon as they dragged him off the train, Natsu snapped out of his unconsciousness and nausea. They decided to let Gray go to his apartment and have some time before tomorrow, where they would drag him to the guild if they had to.

Lucy rang the buzzer of the building, seeing as Gray hadn't thought to bring his key with him when he was running. The landlord buzzed them in, his face registering first with shock and then euphoria as his black eyes dropped their gaze on the black-haired boy. Gray smiled shyly, scared as he waved gently at the landlord he had become good friends with.

As the man stepped closer to Gray, he smiled brightly at the boy and grabbed him into a hug. "I missed ya, Gray."

Gray smiled in the clasp of the brown-haired man, chuckling softly as he admitted, "I didn't think I'd have an apartment to come back to."

"The guild's been paying off your rent," Natsu clarified to him. Gray nodded. "Oh" was the only thing to escape his mouth.

Lucy smiled as the landlord handed Gray his key back. Gray stared at the small silver key, turning it in his hands as he smiled delicately at it. The raven then waved a goodbye to his friends as he trudged up the stairs with the few clothes he had bought over the five years he was gone.

They waited until they heard the click of his apartment door open and close from the bottom of the staircase before finally waving happily to the landlord and hurrying off to the guild to report that they're lost friend had finally returned.

**_MaydayParade02_**

The guild was going about life as normal, despite the fact that today was the day Gray had disappeared. They were just going through the motions, desperately trying to get through the day they hated so much. The funny thing was, that every year they thought he might come back, just pop up and say, "Hey guys! I'm back!" so they had never stopped buying him Christmas presents. By now he would have more than 8 scarves, 40 books, and one bible (because Cana knew his was falling apart with age). They all even began buying him a present for each day, instead of one conjoined gift. Something, anything that would make him realize how important he was to them.

No one had expected Natsu to burst into the building, Team Natsu hot on his heels, shouting incoherent phrases in joy and euphoria. Master Makarov stepped forwards and held a hand up to the silence the young adults and asked what was going on.

They smiled widely, which sent a pulsing hope through the air of the Fairy Tail building. Erza answered happily, with great passion and enthusiasm, "Gray. We found Gray." As though those words has started a race, everyone in the guild ran forward, crowding the four members and shouting questions.

"Where was he?"

"Where is he?"

"When can we see him?"

"Will you take us to him?"

Erza raised her hands and glared menacingly, silencing everyone in the guild as they looked around, excitement and hope in their eyes. The redhead calmly went about speaking, "We decided to give Gray a day to settle in. He'll be here tomorrow but he hasn't agreed to rejoin Fairy Tail."

Dazed cries rang throughout the air, and this time is was Makarov to silent the guild members. "Let them explain!" The guild simmered down, and dejectedly sat down to listen as Team Natsu enthusiastically dispatched the story of how they found Gray, leaving out some pieces as they were sure Gray wouldn't want them to tell.

"So, why might he not rejoin, Erza-san?" Wendy asked, the now 17-year-old still spoke with reverence for the older mages, as she held hands with her boyfriend Romeo.

Erza sighed heavily as she answered, "He's scared too." As the guild began to protest and question-quite loudly-why he would be scared, Erza silenced them. "He feels bad about leaving, and he's missed us all, but he's scared we won't kindly welcome him."

"Gray-sama will always be welcomed here. Juvia is sure of it," Juvia gushed, still happy for his return despite the fact she has moved onto to Lyon.

"But Gray doesn't know that. He thinks you're all going to be mad at him," Lucy confessed. "So please, when he comes tomorrow try you're hardest to act normal. Don't smother him with questions because with him that will correlate to anger." They all nodded in agreement, staying silent until Romeo finally spoke up.

"Why did he leave in the first place?"

Makarov answered, and his assumption was spot on. "You all know Gray, he always puts others' emotions and needs before his own, and that loyalty sometimes leaves him shadowed and lost. I assume he thought he needed to leave us. To protect us. He probably thought we wouldn't care."

Everyone was silent and solemn. "You're exactly right, Gramps," Natsu admitted.

Finally though, Laxus smiled. "Well then, we'll just have to make sure he stays."


	9. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's not long and sorry that I had to repost, it had weird text codes in the chapter and I have no idea why.**

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 8 (DON'T OWN FT)**

Lucy woke up at 8 AM to the sunlight streaming in through her window, sending warmth through the frost particles on her window, as they slowly dripped away like teardrops fallen on the cold glass.

She pulled herself out of bed, smiling when she remembered that Gray would finally be at a guild Christmas party. The blonde haired girl slid her window open, the melting frost sending cold, glassy water droplets onto her window, some sprinkling her hands. She reached her hand out of the window to check the temperature. Despite the warm sunlight that washed over her skin, the air was still cold, still a good 10 degrees that chilled her very being, refreshing her body with its fresh wind like a cool, cleansing breath.

Lucy slid her window shut, rubbing the goosebumps that littered her still slightly tanned arms. The heating did its job of her warming her soon enough as she filled her tub with warm water and then laid back in the refreshing spring.

When the blonde girl's body was clean and warm, she drained the tub water, even in the heated environment still slightly cold from the air hitting her wet figure. She ran the towel around as she dried her legs, then wrapped it around herself, heading towards her closet.

Normally she would wear a miniskirt, but she wasn't going to straight to the guild, she was getting Gray first, and she didn't want to be too cold on her long hike through the freshly shoveled streets of Magnolia. So instead she pulled out a pair of light-wash jeans and a white long-sleeved shirt.

She pulled her long socks on first so that she didn't have to stuff her socks into her tight jeans, then put her jeans and shirt on. Lucy tied her golden hair in its normal way before pulling on thermal boots and her winter coat. As she walked out the door, she locked it behind her.

The day was very happy. It was Christmas after all. Children were playing in the snow as they waited for their parents to get breakfast and gifts prepared. Those parents watched from their kitchen window.

Lucy's face felt warm from the golden sunlight hitting her soft skin, but at the same time, the cold nipped at her bare skin, stinging it, only to have the sunlight counteract the icy air. She felt the wintry bite on her skin, but it was as though a kind glimmer of daylight washed down from the Heavens and made her immune to the winter frost, which hung in the air like a heavy blanket.

She shouted _merry Christmas_es in reply as she passed merchants and kids on the street. Ringing the buzzer of Gray's apartment building, she was returned with the click of the door unlocking and the landlord cheerfully greeting her with the festive season's special line.

"You don't get a day off?" she asked cheerfully as she leaned against the desk. The landlord smiled.

"No, I do, I was just about to head home, I was just locking up some things," he replied, thankful for the friendly girl's concern. Lucy smiled happily.

"Well tell your family I said merry Christmas," she merrily spoke, knowing he was married with a son and daughter. "Is Gray here?"

The landlord shook his head. "No, he went to Christmas mass early this morning then came home, changed, then said he was going to the park. He's probably still be there. But here, you can take a key to the building if you want to come back later. I won't be here, obviously." Lucy nodded, taking the barcoded card and putting it on her key ring with her house key and celestial spirit keys.

After shooting a thanks from her mouth, she bounded from the building towards Magnolia Park. The ground was still a bit frosty and her feet crunched in the crisp snow that had spilled from the grass onto the sidewalk. Not many people were at the park, seeing as it was early morning on Christmas, but she found Gray sitting alone on a swing, not moving, just staring at the snow as he rubbed at his forearm, bare because of a rolled up sweatshirt sleeve.

Lucy snuck up behind him, preparing to scare him, giggling gently. But when she got closer, that plan was ruined by a disturbing discovery.

"Oh, Gray," she whispered forlornly.

**A/N Well I already got 2 reviews, so how about 8 more so I have more time to update?**


	10. Chapter 9

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 9**

Gray jumped visibly when Lucy's voice drifted to his ears from behind him, ripping his sleeve down and whipping around, the swing twisting in an odd way.

"L-Lucy! Merry Christmas!" he stuttered, acting like Lucy hadn't just caught his dirty little secret. The chain of the swing untwisted, turning his back to Lucy. Gray climbed over it and sat on it backwards, facing Lucy.

The blonde had her hands perched on her jutted hip. "Gray, would you mind showing me what exactly that was on your arm?" Gray tried his best to look confused.

"What would that be, Lucy?" Lucy looked at him angrily, rolling her eyes as she moved her position, kicking up some snow with her boot.

"You know damn straight what I mean."

"No, no I do not."

"Grayson Lee Fullbuster show me your arm this instant or I _will_ take this matter up with Erza."

Gray's already pale skin blanched considerably, his bright sapphire eyes wide and scared. Lucy took his moment of shock to her advantage and grabbed his arm, ripping up the sleeve of his black sweatshirt. She sighed thickly, running her fingers over the pastel skin, over the indents and crevices made by scars. Old ones and new, thick and shallow, smooth and jagged.

She sat on the swing next to his, not letting go of his arm. "Gray, are you going to tell me _why_ exactly you have these on your arm or should I just take a guess myself?"

Gray looked at the snow beneath his black hiking boots and sighed, his black hair like a dark halo around his face, contrasting sharply against the white flurries of snow drifting lazily from the winter sky into his dark tresses. His breath curled from his nose, the wispy tendrils of air reminding Lucy of when he would smoke when she first arrived at the guild.

Lucy softened her grip on his arm as she traced an old scar on his forearm. "If leaving made you this unhappy, why didn't you come home? I get that you were scared but it was hurting you. These scars are proof that you weren't happy away from the guild."

Gray's blue eyes flashed towards her, the sadness in his gaze palpable and completely real. He sighed again, a puff of cold steam lingering around his face before vanishing into the air.

Suddenly an idea flashed into Lucy's mind, blinding her with realization bright enough to melt the snow.

"These are older than that, aren't they, Gray?"

Gray nodded slowly and dread trickled into Lucy's spirit as she shifted in her seat. "How long?" she asked. Gray waited a moment, his face hidden and shadowed by the dark locks tickling his skin. Lucy reached out a tanned hand, brushing the hair away softly and tucking it behind his ears. Gray looked up at her in shock for a moment before turning his glance away.

Lucy then realized that while Gray had involuntarily confessed his feelings for her, she had never told her if she liked him. She wasn't even sure if he still liked her.

She was about to speak again, to repeat her question, but then Gray spoke.

"Since I was 15. I stopped when you joined the guild, I just didn't think about it that much," he began. "But then I left. And-and it sunk in again." Lucy couldn't believe none of them ever noticed it, but it didn't matter, all that mattered was that she was going to stop him from doing it again.

Lucy gently grabbed his chin, moving his head towards her. Her big brown eyes bored into his azure pools, color intensified by the winter air, which gave a crisp look to everything. "Gray, you're not going to have to deal with this alone again."

As she spoke, a fresh gust of December wind brushed past them, whistling through Gray's dark strands, her one golden ones brushing her skin. It was as though the wind filled her with a deep confidence, and she leaned forwards brushing her lips, slightly chapped but still warm despite the cold winter air, against his cool ones, still soft as though the winter air added moisture to his skin instead of the usual dryness it left behind.

She felt Gray stiffen a bit before leaning into the kiss, their skin sticking slightly as they're faces meshed together **(holy shit that is fucking disgusting but that's really all kissing is-sucking each other's faces. XD)**. Lucy finally pulled away, snow flurries tickling her nose, and with a small smile whispered to Gray as she looked into Gray's oceanic orbs.

"Merry Christmas, Gray."

"Merry Christmas, Lucy."

**_MaydayParade02_**

Lucy squeezed Gray's hand reassuringly as they neared the guild, giving him a calming smile which he returned nervously. Lucy could practically hear Gray's heartbeat as they walked to the doors.

Lucy looked at Gray for confirmation, who nodded unconvincingly, before shoving the door open. Before coming to the guild they had returned to Gray's apartment, where Lucy took and hid all of Gray's knives and/or anything sharp and allowed Gray to change from his snow-soaked clothes. Hers had remained quite dry from her high, snow-resistant boots. Despite the fact that Gray was an ice-wizard, he could still get sick. The cold didn't bother him, but it didn't mean it didn't affect him.

The guild fell silent when the two entered, Lucy a few strides ahead of him, fingers still intertwined. They all rose silently, some of the girls tearing up in joy. Gray kept his head down, his blue eyes trained on the wooden floor beneath him. The silence in the guild was palpable and Lucy felt awkward _for_ Gray.

"Gray-sama!" Lucy sighed in relief when Juvia broke the silence and leapt into a hug with Gray. Gray stumbled slightly, stiff in her grasp and then wrapping his arms warily around her waist. "Juvia missed you so much. Lyon-sama does too, Juvia is dating him now."

Gray smiled at her a bit. "That's great, Juvia. I-I missed you too."

When the bluenette released the raven she smiled behind her watering eyes. To Gray's surprise-and to the relief of everyone in the guild-she held her tears well. Gray realized that a lot had changed in the past few years.

Natsu was slightly more mature-not very, but slightly.

Erza was a bit gentler.

Makarov looked older.

Macao's once purple hair was almost completely grayed.

Cana seemed to be more cautious about her alcohol addiction.

Juvia was calmer.

Elfman was even more muscular and was now clinging to a pregnant Evergreen.

Laxus' blonde hair was turning a bit browner.

Romeo held a grin similar to that of Natsu's when he was that age.

Wendy had shorter hair and held onto Romeo's hand happily.

Carla and Happy seemed closer.

Gajeel and Levy appeared to be engaged.

Alzack and Bisca had a son now, along with an Azuka that seemed to be about seven.

Jet had lost the ponytail on his head.

Droy had gained a _lot _of weight.

Lucy was calmer, less temper-filled and now his girlfriend.

The guild didn't fail to notice how Gray had changed either. How he didn't strip his clothes. How his dark hair was more obsidian and less blue. How his sapphire blue eyes remained with its bright luster. How his skin was even paler and were tinted with a slightly rosy hue. Whether this was the cold, embarrassment or both was unclear.

Gray felt his eyes tear up slightly, which shocked everyone in the guild as the raven rarely showed emotion. But he had missed so much. He had missed 5 years of their lives, and they had missed 5 years of his. And both parties were filled with regret.

He regretted leaving and not coming to them for help. They regretted not checking on him earlier. It had been over a month of barely seeing him before they realized something was wrong.

Cana moved forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulder blades. He was her best friend. And she missed him so much. Master Makarov came forward and smiled at Gray.

"Welcome home, son."

**_MaydayParade02_**

Lucy followed Master from his office. She had pulled him aside to inform of Gray's mental state. The master had decided to take action the next day, for now deciding to let Gray catch up with the guild members.

Lucy shoved a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, taking in the warm cheeriness of the guild. It was now evening. The moon was shining bright and gifts would be exchanged soon. She saw a flash of Gray's black cargo jacket as he slipped from the guild's back door towards the river behind the guild.

She followed suit, the moonlight bathing the winter scene in silver light, giving the white a silvery glow. Her boots crunched in the snow, the jacket she pulled onto her body providing some warmth as she trekked through the white.

"Gray?" He turned, tensed up, and then relaxed as he turned back to the frozen river, seated on a rock with his legs hanging down.

"Why aren't you in the guild?" Lucy brushed some snow from the stone beside him and sat down, the lingering cold of the snow seeping through the fabric of her jeans.

"It takes a while to get used to them again. Hopefully when Master inevitably informs them of my 'condition' they don't treat me like a basket case."

"How did you-"

"I'm not an idiot, Luce. Why else would you request to speak to Master in his office?" She smiled. Gray could always read her like a book.

She raised herself off the stone. Planting a kiss on the top of his head, she spoke clearly and coolly, "You don't have to worry about that, Grayson."

"Don't call me that," he laughed.

She reached a hand out to him and he took it graciously, pulling himself off the rocks and kissing her on the cheek.

"Let's go back to the guild," Lucy spoke with a bright smile lacing her tanned face.

**A/N** Sorry if this is kinda short and sloppy. I REALLY need to shower and just wanted to get this posted. THIS HAD **NO** PROOFREADING SO I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISTAKES! When do I ever proofread?

I also apologize for it being over a month since I've updated.

Next chapter Gray goes to see Lyon and then an EPILOGUE! IT'S ALMOST THE END.

Have a great day/night my weeababies.

-MaydayParade02


	11. Chapter 10-Final

**Icy Despondency**

**Chapter 10**

Team Natsu-now finally the full group-made their way through the forest towards Lamia Scale. Thick snow and frost coated the dead-like trees as their breath floated in front of their pink-skinned faces. The air was cold as death, deprived of all moisture and stealing it from their own beings as though attempting to draw the liquid it desperately desired into its system, only to inevitably have it frost over and disappear into the winter scene.

Erza opened the door with a loud bang, successfully drawing the attention of all the guild members milling around the guild hall. The redhead's dark eyes scanned along the room, snow stuck in her hair in sticky white flurries that had slipped from the trees.

"We're here to see Lyon."

The ice mage stepped forward, clearly not having seen Gray perched behind his team. His eyes were scared, filled with fear of the possible terrors that awaited him, but then a warm smile spread across Titania's face, and his lips curled outward into a smile that reached those endless black eyes.

Team Natsu parted and Gray smiled at his older brother who swiftly marched forwards and scooped him up as though he were ten, not twenty-three.

"I never realized how much I'd miss you, Gray," Lyon muttered into his younger brother's jacket as he wove a hand into the raven's dark hair.

"I missed you too, Lyon."

**Chemical Violets**

Lucy watched Gray as they sat on the train returning home. Natsu was already conked out, his pink locks against the lap of a napping Erza. The train was warm, but cool air slipped through the glass and occasionally their breath puffed out like an icy cloud before disappearing into the warmth surrounding it.

The raven himself had a peaceful look on his face, contently gazing out the window as a blurred portrait of bone white and crystal clear blue whirred past his vision. His creamy white skin was aglow with the evening sunlight, gentle shadows dancing across his face as the golden light flittered through the occasional patch of trees.

A few particles of frost coated the window, sporadically tumbling down the glass as the sun's warmth penetrated even the thickest winter air, like teardrops slipping from strong eyes. They fell on the ground whirring past them and breaking up before re-freezing on the earth. After all, it's not the fall that kills, it's the landing.

"Ya know, Luce," Gray's voice crept towards her ear drums as he turned his gaze from the window to his golden haired girlfriend. "I think I've had a bit of an epiphany."

"How so?" Lucy hummed in her gentle voice, leaning her head into the crook of Gray's shoulder. He returned the gesture by leaning his dark locks against her golden ones, the yellow and black lashing out in sharp contrast that somehow managed to match, despite the raging chaos they caused.

"I wish I hadn't left. That'll never change. But I think it was for the best because I've learned. I've learned over the years that while I could brood over things I can't change, and lives I couldn't save, it's far more productive to deal with it slowly and carefully, and not to be smothered by it." He paused for a moment, the silence gentle as the train whirred softly in the background. "I don't handle change well. There's no doubt about it, but like I said, I've learned. I now realize that life changes. People change. You can either chose to adapt to the transformation and amend yourself with them, or be left behind. Not that it really matters because you're likely to be abandoned anyway. That's how change works. You need to accept that things change and friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody or anything. And if you try to stop it yourself, you're just going to get caught up and make a wrong turn. It's inevitable to get lost in the current at some point so you may as well just move with it and trust the riptide to move you along the right path eventually. Maybe with a few wrong turns here and there, but you'll always end up at the ocean if you'll just follow the river."

Lucy blinked slowly, sinking in Gray's words and processing them. She smiled softly, her golden strands slipping down Gray's shoulder like little ribbons of sunlight slipping through the dark clouds on a rainy day. She must've sat there longer than she thought because Gray's voice spoke again.

"What're you thinking, Luce?" She grinned, her brown eyes glancing up at his milky white face.

"I'm thinking I need to co-write a book with you." Gray laughed quietly as he kissed her satin hair. The window was coated with slightly flurries of frost as the sun began its dip beneath the earth.

The golden rays of sunlight cast an array of glowing light ranging from orange to pink to yellow on the white snow, like paint splashing on a canvas. The sparkly white snow picked up its new hue quickly and flittered with the bright colors, the sun itself also casting the warm glow on the couple watching the sun paint the world, including themselves.

The rhythmic drip of frost streaking off the window in the warm bath of sunlight filled the otherwise mostly silent air. Maybe it was loud, maybe it actually was quiet. Lucy was never sure, because her range of hearing was cut off. Because in that moment it was just her and Gray, and the world was their endless binds, filled with beauty and chance and sunsets, but also pain, suffering and storms. But it didn't matter because no matter thick or how dark the cloud, a single ray of sunlight will eventually slip through. Even when the sun was impossible to see and the stars were shadowed by the darkest night, they were always there, hiding behind the clouds, waiting for their turn to shine.

"You good?" Lucy's voice reached Gray's ears as she intertwined their fingers, lacing the chapped skin together. He smiled, a puff of air blowing from his noise as a silent laugh.

"Yea. I'm good."

**A/N** Well there you go. That's the end. I was planning to write an epilogue but this is such a _perfect _place to end it don't you agree? Besides, epilogues can be overrated. So I'll let your beautiful minds choose your own ending and I'll let the ending place things where they should be placed.

Thank you for supporting this story despite my inconsistent updating, short chapter, and sometimes downright crappy writing.

This is the first fanfiction I've completed (not including one-shots) and I'm very proud of it and very thankful for all of the love and support my beautiful readers supplied me with. I think I'll be working on finishing Gray and Lucy's Everlasting Melody now as well as a new story I'm planning.

Please go check out my other fanfictions, leave me a review, and maybe throw out a favorite if my writing warrants it. Once again, thank you so much. You're reviews are like rays of sunlight breaking through my own clouds and they inspire me like melodies inspire poets {which I am one ;)}

Welcome to the Chemical Garden. Home of the fucked up, beautiful minds of the Fairy Tail community :) Because even the most poisoned minds have beauty within them, you just have to give the wilting violets room to be ;)

I love you guys a lot and I mean it.

Yours Truly,

**Chemical Violets**


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